Heartache

Emotions.

That's what drives me to write. The things that I see that triggers an emotion that makes me want to describe what I see and feel.

Or a situation that I am put in that brings a flood of feelings that are sometimes nice and warm and makes you all gooey inside.

Or a situation that makes you realise that your heart can once more ache and tear.

Heartache is mine today.

I know that I can't expect much. No, I can't expect anything.

Friends seek you out to show that they enjoy your company. No. Not friends.

Acquaintances. Yes, acquaintances. They say the obligatory hello and contribute to the conversations just because.

We can't...we don't expect much from acquaintances.

How do acquaintances become friends?

It has to be a two way street. This feels like its heading only in one direction no matter how hard I try and the trying is getting a little upsetting and I don't like feeling this way. Doubt anyone does.

What would He do? What would He want me to do?

I feel as though I should stop trying to be friends altogether and not even bother with being acquaintances. The less I know, the less I feel.

But I don't think thats what He would want me to do. I know that wouldn't be what He would want me to do.

I am to be a servant. To love my enemies, to love my neighbour, as God would want me to.

To love and serve as God would, without any expectation from man but to expect my reward from Him alone.

Thank you Father for the heartache.

Continue to be the author of my love story.

1:21 AM ·