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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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Monday, December 24, 2007
case closed

i have a knack of setting myself up for rejection...twice. i wouldn't call it determination. more like blinded by infatuation.

rejection really is not very good for the human soul. it sends you into a world of paranoia. a world where you self-depreciate yourself. a world where you start counting on the tips of your fingers and your tippy toes, the number of things wrong with you that led you up to being rejected.

"not skinny enough...too fat...not tall...not pretty...no personality...too boring..."

and the list goes on.

i should have seen it...sensed it the first time.

but yet, i once again try to play with fire, despite getting my fingers getting a little burnt the first time.

the flames seems to be able to hypnotize me and draw me back to play with it again...and being burnt again.

i really don't know why. don't ask me why.

perhaps he's the one that you really want but know that you can never have.

perhaps it's because of the memories that he gave me and i want more new ones.

perhaps it's because of the butterflies my belly.

one thing i know for sure...is that i need to learn to let go and forget. and only to keep the pretty memories and cast the sad ones away.