Cambodia

Why is it that when you have finally been presented with the opportunity to fulfill one of your dreams, you end up finding all sorts of excuses to not fulfill it?

Alright, maybe you don’t, but I do.

The things that I have done throughout my life, has been to lead up to this moment; to work in the mission field. Amongst the underprivileged, the lost, the sick, the broken, people whom sometimes, the world may forget.

Undergoing difficulties, facing rejection and failure throughout my whole educational ‘career’, I have come to the point where, I am now equip with the knowledge and practical skills to at least diagnose simple aliments, at least that’s what my examination results and school say.

But I, as an individual, still feel utterly inadequate. Like my sister once said, ‘I don’t even trust myself with my own life’. This coming from a soon-to-be pediatric consultant.

What would that say about me? I’m just a 3rd year medical student, and I’m not even the brightest of the lot.

Many times, I wonder how I got to where I am now.

Undoubtedly, God was there every step of the way.

I remember the day I took the exam that was going to change the rest of my life; The Graduate Medical School Admissions Test.

I remember sitting in my car, doing my last minute pleading with God for grace and mercy to help me through the 9 hour exam that I was going to soon sit, when I glanced up and saw through my windscreen all the other candidates walking past, to the exam hall.

I thought to myself, “Lord, who I am to pass this exam? All the students walking past me now, and the others taking the exam…they must have done so much preparation for this. They are most probably so much smarter and disciplined then me! Who am I to think that I can pass this exam…and even wishful thinking…to be a doctor!? How can I?”

I cried.

And He spoke.

“Sure Gwen, they are definitely more deserving then you to pass the exam and go on to become doctors. But the difference between them and you is that I have set you apart. I have called you to my purpose.”

I cried even more. How could I have even doubted my God? He who gives me the desires of my heart. He who supplies my every need?
It has taken me awhile to get here, and now, I have been given the opportunity to go start on what God has purposed me to do, to reach out to the broken and sick.

10th of December is when I leave for Cambodia for a week on a medical mission trip.

It’s amazing how many excuses I came up with to not go, despite the fact my heart telling me that I am meant to, and I have to.

My inadequacies and insecurities.

“I have been practicing 1st world medicine, how can I help those living in 3rd world conditions?”

“Am I going to enjoy myself?”

“Am I going to make friends?”

“There is birdflu, dengue fever, malaria etc…”

“There are times where there are no proper toilets! (which is a MAJOR CONCERN for me)…”

“Will I survive? (stupid question of course)”

“I’m scared.”

I know I needed godly counsel, and have since learnt and been reminded that…

1)God will supply ALL my needs
2)He is my protector
3)Focus on what the whole trip is about, mission work. Its not about me, it’s not about me making friends, but rather, to serve God and His people.
4)It’s time to come out of my comfort zone, and not procrastinate anymore!

Yes, so please pray for His covering over me and continued work in my life.

Thank you and God bless!

9:50 AM ·