always.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

I'm Dreaming Again

I was in a relationship, but somehow, I knew that the sparks weren't there any more. he wasn't interested in our conversations, and he's eyes...they weren't warm...

Was it me? I didnt know how to confront the situation, and I didnt want to. At least I still had him.

Deluded I was, I only had him physically, but his heart had gone away long before I even realised.

My friend called me to tell me that she just saw him out with another girl.

It could just be a work-mate, just a friend, nothing to worry about, I said...but deep down, my heart was a wreck.

My friend said that it would be best that I come down for myself, to get some confirmation, or in some sense closure, and put to rest all the emotions that I pray were just me being paraniod.

I found them, basking in the sunlight, sipping coffee, and having what seems to be a great conversation.

Its been awhile since I heard his laughter.

They were so deep into their conversation, that it was only when I was standing next to them, that they noticed me. That he noticed me.

Silence.

He looked at me, and didnt say a word and just sat there, choosing to ignore me. He seemed like he was glad that he was finally found out.

When i realise that he didnt intend to do anything...I told him that I needed to talk to him.

He unwillingly got up from his seat, and started walking towards the footpath that lead to the beach. His back facing me all the time...

I walked, following him...remembering how much I loved him...

My footsteps slowed, and he must have heard me, for he stopped, turned around, and as though nothing has happend, reached for my hand to walk together.

Yes, nothing has happend...it was just me and my paranoia.

But how come I don't feel comforted by his touch, his warm, the security that he once gave me when our fingers intertwined?

NO!

I stopped, and did something that I never knew I was capable of.

I shouted at him.

I cannot pretend that nothing has happend...I cannot pretend that nothing is wrong...I cannot pretend that Im not hurt by you...whats worse, is that I still love you. But what is the point? You don't feel the same way about me anymore...

Because I love you, I have to let you go.

I walked away, down the path to the beach...the path was once shared by both of us.

Strolling towards the lull of the waves...I walked alone.


You can mail me at: geedoc@gmail.com My other link 2 My other link 3 Insert Cbox code here Joyce Mah Friend 2 Friend 3 Friend 4 Friend 5 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 December 2008 February 2009 April 2009 July 2009 October 2009 December 2009 February 2010 May 2010 June 2010 January 2011 March 2011 June 2011 August 2011 January 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 October 2012 November 2012 Bituwin - template Dementee - image Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls. Hit counter code here	Wednesday, April 27, 2005 I'm Dreaming Again I was in a relationship, but somehow, I knew that the sparks weren't there any more. he wasn't interested in our conversations, and he's eyes...they weren't warm... Was it me? I didnt know how to confront the situation, and I didnt want to. At least I still had him. Deluded I was, I only had him physically, but his heart had gone away long before I even realised. My friend called me to tell me that she just saw him out with another girl. It could just be a work-mate, just a friend, nothing to worry about, I said...but deep down, my heart was a wreck. My friend said that it would be best that I come down for myself, to get some confirmation, or in some sense closure, and put to rest all the emotions that I pray were just me being paraniod. I found them, basking in the sunlight, sipping coffee, and having what seems to be a great conversation. Its been awhile since I heard his laughter. They were so deep into their conversation, that it was only when I was standing next to them, that they noticed me. That he noticed me. Silence. He looked at me, and didnt say a word and just sat there, choosing to ignore me. He seemed like he was glad that he was finally found out. When i realise that he didnt intend to do anything...I told him that I needed to talk to him. He unwillingly got up from his seat, and started walking towards the footpath that lead to the beach. His back facing me all the time... I walked, following him...remembering how much I loved him... My footsteps slowed, and he must have heard me, for he stopped, turned around, and as though nothing has happend, reached for my hand to walk together. Yes, nothing has happend...it was just me and my paranoia. But how come I don't feel comforted by his touch, his warm, the security that he once gave me when our fingers intertwined? NO! I stopped, and did something that I never knew I was capable of. I shouted at him. I cannot pretend that nothing has happend...I cannot pretend that nothing is wrong...I cannot pretend that Im not hurt by you...whats worse, is that I still love you. But what is the point? You don't feel the same way about me anymore... Because I love you, I have to let you go. I walked away, down the path to the beach...the path was once shared by both of us. Strolling towards the lull of the waves...I walked alone. 10:38 AM ·